Saturday, August 20. Lance Armstrong joined George W. Bush for a 17-mile bike ride on Bush's Crawford estate. The following is an excerpt of their conversation.
GEORGE W. BUSH: Do you like riding bikes, Stretch?
LANCE ARMSTRONG: I do. In fact, I won the Tour de France seven--
BUSH: That's Tour De Freedom. Hey Stretch! Guess what?
LANCE: What's that, Mr. President?
BUSH: My ranch is 1,600 acres. We can ride for 17 miles without
leaving my property.
LANCE: That's amazing.
BUSH: You betcha. I could give away 600 acres to homeless people...

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    NATIONAL     LOCAL     YOUR FAKE NEWS HEADQUARTERS     27  OCTOBER  2005
  VOLUME 2  ISSUE 8
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TOY TRUNK RAILROAD by Erik Sansom
The Car Salesman

Recently, my wife and I decided that it was time to buy a new car. My own car had grown so dilapidated that I was depreciating our property value every time I pulled into the garage. So we visited a local auto mall - I won't say which one - to find a replacement. And we did. We found a gorgeous replacement. Right beyond the lion's den of salespeople.

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