Winter, a vice president of Northrop and president of the company's missile system division, decided on the tough love approach without obtaining permission from Bush's mother, Barbara, who was on vacation in Palm Springs, CA, at the time.
"Listen," Winter said at an impromptu press conference held in front of his Georgetown townhouse. "The guy walks around with a big smirk on his face like he's BMOC at a Phi Kappa Alpha kegger instead of the POTUS. I mean, if there's anytime to break the news to him, I think halfway through his second term is about right."
Michael Wynne, who is principal deputy undersecretary for acquisition, was nominated to serve as Air Force secretary, a job vacant since the departure in January of James G. Roche, a casualty of the Air Force procurement scandal.
When reached for comment regarding the briefing of the president, Wynne concurred with his co-nominee. "Why do you think he's always on vacation?" He said. "He didn't even realize it. Everyone's been concocting these crazy stories to explain away his day-to-day activities."
The White House has issued a statement in which it justifies it's withholding from the President the fact that he was, in fact, Head of State.
"The policy was approved by his parents before he even ran for governor," said Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice. "They figured he just wasn't equipped to handle so much responsibility. So up until now, the true nature of his job has been kept from him on a need-to-know basis. And he doesn't really need to know, frankly. He just goes where we tell him and says what we tell him then he gets to play his X-Box at night. He's halfway through the new Halo, in fact."
Maj. General Linda Horniack of The Senate Armed Services Committee confirmed that she was summoned to The President's private residence on a regular basis.
"Well I'm glad this has come out," Horniack said. "Because if I had to go over there one more time as 'Aunt Linda' I was going to lose it. God, Rumsfeld had me put on this Mary Poppins costume and bring The President ice cream. But not only that, I had to 'talk him down' every time and pull some story out of my ass as to why all these people kept wanting him to make decisions."
Horniack held up her 'Aunt Linda' costume and pointed to Bush's dried tears on the right shoulder. "Hey, he thinks (Israeli Prime Minister) Ariel Sharon is 'Uncle Ted. And (Social Democratic German Chancellor) Gerhard Schröder is 'Cousin Gerry.' It's like a real life version of The Truman Show. Pathetic."
Wynne said that the Pentagon refused to turn over documents linked to The Truman Scandal, as it has been dubbed. He said he has witnessed the conviction and jailing of a retired top Air Force official and a former chief financial officer at Boeing who merely threatened to break the news to Bush. "So we're really going out on a limb here," he said. "But what's right is right. Plus we'll get a killer book deal out of it, I'm sure."
