LOS ANGELES, California—Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard will be re-born when movie star Tom Cruise and his fiancée, actress Katie Holmes, deliver a baby together, a spokeswoman for the actor said Wednesday.
News that Holmes, 27, is pregnant with Cruise's child was first reported by People magazine on its Web site.
At the premiere of his latest movie, Who Dropped The Butter? in Westwood, Cruise mentioned that he has yet to actually touch Holmes and is instead bombarding her with “good vibes.”
"I can confirm that," spokeswoman Marlan Willard said when asked about Cruise’s comment, but added that she had no information about a due date or any other details.
This begs the delicate question as to the source of Ms. Holmes’ fertilization.
Attempting to quell the ground swell of controversy, of which director Steven Spielberg disavowed any knowledge, Cruise's chief publicist, sister Lee Anne DeVette, added: "Tom and Katie are very excited that Katie has immaculately conceived. This only proves Tom’s long held assessment that sex, like psycho-therapy, is useless for the species. If we were all to merely cleave more tightly to the spirit of (b-list sci-fi author) L. Ron Hubbard, all would be well. Tom is so amazing he could have gotten pregnant and delivered little Ronny himself, but he wanted Katie to experience it instead. Needless to say, the entire family is every excited."
When asked if this is similar to the Buddhist belief that the one true Buddha is re-born every generation in the spirit of a newborn, DeVette looked puzzled and asked, “Buddha who? Never heard of him. Is he with Universal?”
No wedding date for the couple has been set.
Cruise, 43, first brought Holmes, 27, under his hypnotic powers in mid-April, and he proposed to her in June at the Eiffel Tower in Paris, announcing their engagement the next day at yet another news conference.
A month earlier, Cruise had drawn snickers and raised eyebrows with a manic, couch-hopping appearance on "The Oprah Winfrey" show professing his love for the actress.
Winfrey, herself being aggressively recruited by Scientology, has apparently had enough.
“Hey, I was willing to let Tom slide for now. Sure, the sweat from his ball sac cures cancer, and that's all well and good. And he's always good for ratings when people get sick of me bitching about not being treated like enough of diva. But this whole ‘reincarnating L. Ron Hubbard’ thing is just too whack. Even for me. That boy needs some serious de-programming. I’m going see if Madonna can do it to him on a ‘very special’ show next month.”
