MEMPHIS, TN- Memphis mayor William Herenton is scheduled to undergo what is being described as a fairly routine procedure amongst elite power brokers, and Cybill Shepard; the removal of a metastasized ego. Dr. Harold Inkvest, 62, of Reykjavik, Iceland's St. Sebastian Hospital, appeared at a press conference in Reykjavik on Monday afternoon in which he diagramed the extent to which Herenton’s ego has, over his tenure as mayor, occluded such vital organs as his heart and brain. Especially the area of his brain normally reserved for logic and reasoning.
Dr. Inkvest is widely considered on the forefront of ego-ectomies and has recently completed successful procedures on Alec Baldwin, Bob Denver and Jessica Simpson.
"We have substantially increased the success rate of this procedure through the years, not barring recent failures like Michael Jackson and Tom Cruise," Dr. Inkvest said at the press conference at which Mayor Herenton sat in an oversized throne.
When asked for a comment, the Mayor ignored the press and continued to flip through a copy of The Memphis Flyer. After further questioning from reporters, Herenton raised his right hand and extended his middle finger without looking up.
After taking in this exchange, Dr. Inkvest dismissed Herenton's behavior as atypical of someone suffering from a raging ego. "We expect such reactions from patients in this advanced stage," he said. "In fact, Karl Rove was exhibiting even worse behavior than this subject."
Dr. Inkvest was prevailed upon for an explanation as to why Mr. Rove still appeared to have an oversized ego. "Well yes, we were only partly successful in his case."
The operation, still domestically illegal and first performed on Bea Arthur in 1978, involves the skillful manipulation of a lathroscopic vacum tube inserted nasally, through which a rare, highly trained ice slug is inserted, Inkvest said. As for anymore details, he cited confidentiality concerns per St. Sebastian's parent company, Schering-Plough.
